Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Derek Jeter Shares Brutal Reality for Yankees After Dodgers Loss - Sports Illustrated

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Taylor Swift Won Her Biggest Battle - The Ringer

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

Hand Sanitizer Isn't As Effective At Killing Germs As You Think — Here's What You Need To Know - HuffPost

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I see through liars

Transportation chief seeks to weaken fuel economy standards, calls Biden-era rule ‘illegal’ - AP News

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

F1 in Spain: Now that was a lapse in judgment - Ars Technica

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Black Cat's Walking Pad Technique Will Leave You Questioning Everything You Know About Exercise - PetHelpful

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Europe will have to be more Tenacious to land its first rover on the moon - TechCrunch

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What are some funny and smart quotes?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup